NONSENSE 
DIALOGUES 

E.E.K. WARNER 




1 



jgfc 






wB 


tfei ^ 


H # A I 


Msn 


^ 


N* 




> 






^^j/^ ^ 


Jffggz^ 



il 




nam rn*f-fc ; 

Book .- ff^ij' 

Copyright^ „ 



COPYRIGHT DEPOSIT. 



EVEBTCHILD'S SERIES 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 



•Tl 
^9 



*&&& 



THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

NEW YORK • BOSTON • CHICAGO 
DALLAS • SAN FRANCISCO 

MACMILLAN & CO., Limited 

LONDON • BOMBAY • CALCUTTA 
MELBOURNE 

THE MACMILLAN CO. OF CANADA, Ltd. 

TORONTO 



EVERYCHILD'S SEEIES 

NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

FOR THE YOUNGEST READERS 

BY 
ELLEN E. KENYON-WARNER 



ILLUSTRATIONS BY 
ELIZA CURTIS 



THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 
1912 

All rights reserved 



ye 



^ 



Copyright, 1912, 
By THE M ACM ILL AN COMPANY. 



Set up and electrotyped. Published September, 1912. 



Nortooorj ^rtss 

J. S. Cushing Co. — Berwick & Smith Cc 

Norwood, Mass., U.S.A. 



lci.A3::o5:)G 



CONTENTS 



Naming the Babies 

"What Can You Do? 

A Guessing Game . 

Old Mrs. Shuttle . 

Splish-Splash . 

Addition . . . 

The Old Gray Goose 

The Three Tadpoles 

The Grain of Wheat 

" Say Please " . 

Sunday Clothes 

The Fairy 

Guess, and Guess Again 

The End of the World 

Fido's Drink 

The Day's Eye 

The Telephone 

Animal Trades 

The Workers . 

The Bee's Story 

Umbrellas 

A Little Man . 



1 
3 
5 
7 
11 
14 
16 
20 
23 
31 
35 
42 
46 
51 
58 
63 
68 
74 
78 
83 
88 
94 



VI 



CONTENTS 



Off for Dreamland 

An Alphabet Game 

The Hours 

A Christmas Joke . 

The Echo . 

Paying Toll 

Saving Dolly's Life 

Spelling Constantinople 

The New Man . 

When the Toys came Alive 



PAGE 

104 
112 
117 
125 
130 
142 
148 
153 
157 
163 



EVERYCHILD'S SERIES 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 




the bee's story. Page 83 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 
NAMING THE BABIES 

The animals stand in a line, and the questioner goes 
from one to another. 

Baby dog, what shall I call you? 

Call me a puppy. 
Baby cat, what shall I call you ? 

Call me a kitten. 
Baby sheep, what shall I call you? 

Call me a lamb. 
Baby goat, what shall I call you? 

Call me a kid. 
Baby horse, what shall I call you? 

Call me a colt. 
Baby cow, what shall I call you? 

Call me a calf. 



2 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Baby duck, what shall I call you? 

Call me a duckling. 
Baby goose, what shall I call you? 

Call me a gosling. 
Baby owl, what shall I call you? 

Call me an owlet. 
Baby eagle, what shall I call you? 

Call me an eaglet. 
Baby child, what shall I call you? 
Just Baby. 



"WHAT CAN YOU DO ? " 

Child 
Little bird, what can you do ? 

Bird 

I can build a nest. Can you ? 

Child 
Little mouse, what can you do? 

Mouse 

I can run a race. Can you ? 

Child 
Little puss, what can you do? 

Puss 

I can catch a mouse. Can you ? 



4 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Child 

Little frog, what can you do? 

Frog 

I can dive and swim. Can you ? 

Child 
Spider, tell what you can do. 

Spider 

I can spin a web. Can you ? 

-From the Culture Readers, by permission of 
Charles E. Merrill Company. 



A GUESSING GAME 

1. What do you wear for clothes ? 

I wear scales. 
Then you're a fish. 

2. What do you wear for clothes ? 

I wear feathers. 
Then you're a bird. 

3. What do you wear for clothes? 

I wear wool. 
Then you're a lamb. 

4. What do you wear for clothes? 

I wear short hair. 
Then you're a horse. 



6 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

5. What do you wear for clothes? 

I wear long hair. 
Then you're a goat. 

6. What do you wear for clothes? 

I wear black fur. 
Then you're my cat. 

7. What do you wear for clothes? 

I wear my house. 
Then you're a turtle. 



OLD MRS. SHUTTLE 

THEME 

Read by voice at back of room 

Old Mrs. Shuttle, 

She lived in a scuttle, 

Along with her dog and her cat. 

What they did I can't tell, 

But it's known very well, 

That none of the party was fat. 

First Pupil 

Who was she? 

Second Pupil 
Old Mrs. Shuttle. 




OLD MRS. SHUTTLE 
8 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 
First Pupil 

Where did she live? 
Second Pupil 

In a scuttle. 

First Pupil 

Who lived with her? 

Second Pupil 

Her dog and her cat 

First Pupil 

What did they do? 

Second Pupil 

I can't tell. 

■ 

First Pupil 

Why can't you tell? 

Second Pupil 
I didn't live there. 



10 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

First Pupil 

What do you know about them? 

Second Pupil 

That none of the party was fat. 

First Pupil 

Why were they not fat? 

Second Pupil 

I can't tell. 

First Pupil 

Why can't you tell? 

Second Pupil 

I didn't see them eat. 

First Pupil 

Who can tell? 

Second Pupil 

Mrs. Shuttle. 



SPLISH-SPLASH 

A PLAY 

Child, facing class, beckons another to join 
him and recites first couplet. Second child 
beckons to another child while reciting second 
couplet. Third child beckons to a fourth, etc. 

First Child 

If all the seas 
Were one great sea, 
What a GREAT sea that would be! 

Second Child 

And if all the trees 
Were one great tree, 

What a GREAT tree that would be! 

11 



12 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Third Child 

And if all the axes 
Were one great ax, 
What a GREAT ax that would be ! 

Fourth Child 
And if all the men 
Were one great man, 
What a GREAT man that would be ! 

Fifth Child 
And if the great man 
Should take the great ax 
And chop down the great tree 
And let it fall into the great 
sea, 
What a SPLISH-SPLASH that 
would be! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 13 

Concert 
The five speakers, standing in line, shout " Splish 
splash!" three times, while half the class 
cries " Sh-sh-sh ! " and the other half 
"S-s-s!" 



ADDITION 

One and one are two, 
I and sister Prue. 

Two and one are three, 
As any one can see. 

Three and one are four, 

You cannot make them more. 

Four and one are five, 
Sure as I'm alive. 

Five and one are six, 
Little wooden bricks. 

Six and one are seven, 
They never make eleven. 

14 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 15 

Seven and one are eight, 
We stand here very straight. 

Eight and one are nine, 
Behold us all in line. 

Nine and one are ten 
Tidy little men. 

Ten and one are eleven, 
And that is more than seven. 




CiiRns) 



THE OLD GRAY GOOSE 

First Child 

1. Go and tell Aunt Abbie, 
Go and tell Aunt Abbie, 
Go and tell Aunt Abbie 
Her old gray goose is dead, 



.1(5 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 17 

Second Child 

2. I hear what youVe been saying, 
I hear what you've been saying, 
I hear what you've been saying, 

But which gray goose is dead? 

First Child 

3. The one that had a topknot, 
The one that had a topknot, 
The one that had a topknot 

Right on its pretty head. 

Second Child 

4. And if she still should ask me, 
And if she still should ask me, 
And if she still should ask me 

Which old gray goose is dead? 

First Child 

5. The one she has been saving, 
The one she has been saving, 



18 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

The one she has been saving 
To make a feather bed. 

Second Child 

6. Where shall I find Aunt Abbie, 
Where shall I find Aunt Abbie, 
Where shall I find Aunt Abbie, 

To tell her Goosie's dead ? 

First Child 

7. You'll find her in the pantry, 
You'll find her in the pantry, 
You'll find her in the pantry, 

Cutting cheese and bread. 

Second Child 

8. I'll go and tell Aunt Abbie, 
I'll go and tell Aunt Abbie, 
I'll go and tell Aunt Abbie 

Her old gray goose is dead. 




10 



THE THREE TADPOLES 

Said Twimmily, ' * See me wiggle ! r} 

Said Twammily, "See me wag- 
gle !" 

Said Twirmy, ' ' See me squirm ! " 

Said Twimmily, ' ' My tail's grow- 
ing shorter. " 

Said Twammily, "My tail's grow- 
ing shorter/' 

Said Twirmy, ' ' My tail's growing 
shorter. " 

Said Twimmily, "My legs are 
growing longer." 

Said Twammily, "My legs are 
growing longer." 

20 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 21 

Said Twirmy, ' ' My legs are grow- 
ing longer." 

Said Twimmily, "111 soon be a 
frog." 

Said Twammily, "HI soon be a 
frog. " 

Said Twirmy, "I'll soon be a 
frog. " 

A frog passed by. 

He said to Twimmily, ' ' Talk less 
and work more if you want to be a 
frog. " 

He said to Twammily, ' ' Talk less 
and work more if you want to be a 
frog. " 

He said to Twirmy, "Talk less 
and work more if you want to be a 
frog. " 



22 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

He said to Twimmily, "Keep on 
wiggling. " 

He said to Twammily, "Keep on 
waggling/' 

He said to Twirmy, "Keep on 
squirming. " 

And a Twimmily, Twammily, 

Twirmy, 
And a Wimmily, Wammily, Wirmy, 
And a Squimmily, Squammily, 
Squirmy, 

And a Whippa-pa 
Papa-pa 
Pa! 



THE GRAIN OF WHEAT 



Little Red Hen 

Oh, see what I 
have found ! 




Chicks (running) 

What is it? What ^^^^S 
is it ? What is it ? c=3§gS^ 



23 



24 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Little Red Hen 

It is a grain of wheat. 

Chicks running 

A grain of wheat ! It is a grain 
of wheat ! Let us see the grain of 
wheat ! 

Little Red Hen 

Call the cat. 

Chicks 

Cat ! Oh, Cat ! Come quickly, Cat ! 
Little Red Hen wants you ! 

Little Red Hen 

Call the rat. 

Chicks 

Rat ! Oh, Rat! Come quickly, Rat ! 
Little Red Hen wants you ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 25 

Little Red Hen 

Call the pig ! 

Chicks 
Pig ! Oh, Pig ! Come quickly, 
Pig ! Little Red Hen wants you ! 

(The cat, the rat, and the pig come, sauntering, 
and look at the grain of wheat.) 

Little Red Hen 

Who will plant this wheat? 

Cat 



I won't ! 
I won't ! 
I won't ! 



Rat 

Pig 



Little Red Hen 
I will, then ! 

(She plants the wheat. Cat, rat, and pig saunter 
back to seats. The hen, clucking, and the 



26 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

chicks crying, " Peep ! peep ! " wander about, 
pretending to pick food from the grass. They 
return to spot where wheat is planted.) 

Little Red Hen 

Oh, see how my wheat has 

£ rown ! Chicks 

Oh, see the wheat ! How it has 

£ rown! Little Red Hen 

Call the cat, the rat, and the pig. 

Chicks 
Cat, come quick ! Rat, come 
quick ! Pig, come quick ! Little 
Red Hen wants you ! 

(They come, sauntering.) 

Little Red Hen 

Who will take this wheat to the 
mill? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 27 

Cat 



I won't ! 
I won't ! 
I won't ! 



Rat 

Pig 



Little Red Hen 

I will, then ! 

(She pretends to shoulder a heavy bag of wheat 
and walks off. Chicks follow, peeping. Cat, 
rat, and pig saunter to seats. Hen and chicks 
return to spot. Hen opens bag and pretends 
to scatter some flour on the grass.) 

Little Red Hen 

See what fine flour the miller has 
ground for me ! 

Chicks 

See the flour ! Oh, see the fine 
flour! 



28 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Little Red Hen 

Call the cat, the rat, and the pig. 

Chicks 

Oh, Cat, come quick ! Oh, Rat, 
come quick ! Oh, Pig, come quick ! 
Little Red Hen wants you ! 

(They come, sauntering.) 

Little Red Hen 

Who will make this flour into 
bread ? 



I won't ! 
I won't! 
I won't ! 



Cat 
Rat 

Pig 



Little Red Hen 

I will, then ! 

(Kneads the flour and pretends to put a loaf 
under the chair to bake. Animals saunter 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 29 

back to seats. The hen, clucking, and the 
chicks, peeping, wander about, pretending to 
pick food from the grass. They return to 
where bread is baking. Hen pretends to take 
it from the oven.) 

Little Red Hen 
See how well my bread is baked. 

Chicks 

Oh, see the bread ! What fine 
bread ! 

(Cat, rat, and pig come without calling.) 

Little Red Hen 
Who will eat this bread ? 

Cat 
I will ! 

Rat 
I Will ! 



30 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Pig 
I will ! 

Little Red Hen 

Who planted the wheat ? 

Animals 

You did ! 

Little Red Hen 

Who took the wheat to the mill ? 
Animals 

You did ! 

Little Red Hen 
Who made the flour into bread ? 

Animals 

You did ! 

Little Red Hen 
Then I and my chicks will eat the 
bread. 

{Animals hang their heads and walk slowly to 
seats. Chicks and Little Red Hen, peeping 
and clucking loudly, pretend to eat bread.) 



"SAY PLEASE" 

Scene. Big sister holding box or basket out of 
reach of little boy, and smiling down at him. 

Sister* 

Say "Please!" 

Boy 
I won't say please. Give me 
some. 

Sister 

Say "Please!" 

Boy 
Why should I say please? Some 
of the apples are mine. I helped 
to pick them. 

31 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 33 

Sister 

Say "Please!" 

Boy 

Stop teasing me. Give me as 
many as I picked. 

Sister 

Say "Please," just to be a little 
gentleman. 

Boy 

I don't want to be a little gentle- 
man. Fm going to be a man. 

Sister 

Then say "Please," just to please 

me. 

Boy 

But you are not pleasing me. 



34 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Sister 

Then say "Please" because it is 
right to speak pleasantly. 

Boy 

Please give me my apples. 

— From the Culture Readers, by permission of 
Charles E. Merrill Company. 



SUNDAY CLOTHES 




SUNDAY CLOTHES 

Those who answer for the animals stand in 
line, and the little girl passes from each one to 

35 



36 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

the next with her questions. After she has 
made believe go to church she may return and 
make a little speech, telling them that at least 
their clothes are their own, and that they may 
all come to church next Sunday. 

Girl 

Fish, fish, what do you wear for 
Sunday ? Fish 

Scales for Sunday, 
Scales for Monday, 
Scales for Tuesday, 
Scales for Wednesday, 
Scales for Thursday, 
Scales for Friday, 
Scales for Saturday. 

Girl 
Then you can't go to church, for 
you wear your best clothes on scrub- 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 37 

bing day. Bird, bird, what do you 
wear for Sunday? 

Bird 

Feathers for Sunday, 
Feathers for Monday, 
Feathers for Tuesday, 
Feathers for Wednesday. 
Feathers for Thursday, 
Feathers for Friday, — 

Girl 

That is enough ! You can't go to 
church, because you wear your best 
clothes on sweeping day. Sheep, 
sheep, what do you wear for Sun- 
day ? 



38 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Sheep 

Wool for Sunday, 
Wool for Monday, 
Wool for Tuesday, 
Wool for Wednesday, 
Wool for Thursday, — 

Girl 

That is enough. You can't go 
to church, because you wear your 
best clothes on baking day. Horse, 
horse, what do you wear for Sun- 
day? 

Horse 

Hair for Sunday, 
Hair for Monday, 
Hair for Tuesday, 

Hair for Wednesday, — 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 39 

Girl . 

That is enough. You can't go to 
church, because you wear your best 
clothes on sewing day. Squirrel, 
squirrel, what do you wear for Sun- 

y ' Squirrel 

Fur for Sunday, 
Fur for Monday, 
Fur for Tuesday, — 

Girl 

That is enough. You can't go to 
church, because you wear your best 
clothes on ironing day. Frog, frog, 
what do you wear for Sunday? 

Frog 

Skin for Sunday, 
Skin for Monday, — 



40 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

% Girl 

That is enough. You can't go to 
church, because you wear your best 
clothes on washing day. 

(Girl turns away with a toss of the head and 
walks out of the door. A voice from back of 
room reads ;) 

Voice 

So the little girl went to church 
all alone, and wore the skin she had 
on all the week, and over it clothing 
of wool that the sheep had given 
her and of fur that the squirrel had 
given her. 

In her hat she had a feather from 
the tail of the bird, and in her hand 
she carried a purse made of scales 
from the fish ; while the pretty hair 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 41 

that fell over her shoulders kept 
dancing to a little tune in her heart 
that sang : — 
Curls for Sunday, 
Curls for Monday, 
Curls for Tuesday, 
Curls for Wednesday, 
Curls for Thursday, 
Curls for Friday, 
Curls for Saturday, 
Curls for Sunday. 



THE FAIRY 

A DIALOGUE 

Susie 
I am a fairy. 

Grandma 

Are you ? I hope you are a good 

fail ^ Susie 

Oh, yes ! There are no bad fairies. 

Grandma 

Then I am glad you have come 
to see me. What can I do for you ? 

Susie 
Nothing at all I must do some- 
thing for you. 

42 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 43 

Grandma 
Very well, then, what will you do 
for me ? 

Susie 

I will give you three wisheSo 

Grandma 
Oh, how lucky I am ! I was just 
wishing for some one to thread my 
needle. 

Susie 
I will send you a little girl. (Leaves 
room and returns.) I believe you are 
Susie's Grandma. A good fairy sent 
me to thread your needle. 

Grandma 
Oh, thank you ! And thank the 
good fairy, too. Here is the needle, 
and here is the thread. (Pantomime.) 



44 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Susie 

There is the needle, all threaded, 
Susie's Grandma. Is there anything 
else that a little girl can do for you ? 

Grandma 

Not that I think of just at present. 

Susie. 

Then I will send the fairy back to 

you. (Goes out and comes in again.) Here 

I am again, Susie's Grandma. You 
may have two more wishes. 
Grandma 

I wish I had a daisy and a butter- 
cup. Susie 

You may have them both for one 
wish. 

(Runs out and comes back with real or make- 
believe blossoms.) 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 45 

Grandma 

Thank you, thank you, kind fairy ! 
I had to say "Thank you " twice be- 
cause there are two flowers. Now, 
have I one more wish ? 

Susie 
One more. Only one, remember, 
so wish for something very, very 

good. 

Grandma 

I wish my little granddaughter 
would come and kiss me. 

Susie 
I will send her to you. 

(Backs out with a bow and runs in with arms 
flying in air. Rushes up to Grandma, throws 
arms around neck, and kisses her again and 
again.) 



GUESS, AND GUESS AGAIN 

Willie 
Guess what I have in my pocket. 

Ned 
I can't guess. Tell me, won't you? 

Willie 
No, you'll have to guess. 

Ned 
Who gave it to you? 

Willie 

No one gave it to me. 

Ned 
Where did you buy it? 



40 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 47 

Willie 
I didn't buy it. 

Ned 
How did you get it? 

Willie 
I found it. 

Ned 

How did it get into your pocket ? 

Willie 

It just grew there. 

Ned 
What color is it? 

Willie 
No color at all. 

Ned 
Is it a marble? 



48 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Willie 

No; marbles don't grow. 

Ned 

Who planted it ? 

Willie 
Nobody. 

Ned 

Is it hard or soft? 

Willie 
It isn't either hard or soft. 

Ned 

You're teasing me. 

Willie 
No, indeed, I am not! 

Ned 

Is it good to eat? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 49 

Willie 

Not a bit of it. 

Ned 
What is it good for? 

Willie 
It isn't good for anything, 

Ned 
I don't believe you have anything. 

Willie 
Yes, I have, too ! 

Ned 
Will you give me half, if I guess 
it? 

Willie 
I can't get it out of my pocket. 

Ned 
I can't guess it. 



50 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Willie 

Do you give it up ? 

Ned 
Yes. What is it? 

Willie 

It's a hole. 

— The Primary School. 



THE END OF THE WORLD 

Scene. Hen Pen and Chicken Licken are 
hunting for bugs in the grass. Child repre- 
senting rose bush, stands holding a very small 
bunch of paper in each extended hand. 
Chicken Licken wanders under a limb of 
the rose bush and a bunch of paper falls 
on her head. 

Chicken Licken 
(Running to Hen Pen). Oh, Hen Pen ! 

The world's come to an end ! 

Hen Pen 

How do you know, Chicken 
Licken ? 

51 



52 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Chicken Licken 

I saw it with my eyes, I heard it 
with my ears, and a piece of it fell 
on my head. 

(Duck Luck appears on the scene, waddling.) 
Duck Luck 

Quack-quack-quack ! 
Hen Pen 

Oh, Duck Luck ! The world's come 
to an end ! 

Duck Luck 
How do you know, Hen Pen? 

Hen Pen 

Chicken Licken told me. 

Duck Luck 

How do you know, Chicken 
Licken ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 53 

Chicken Licken 

I saw it with my eyes, I heard it 
with my ears, and a piece of it fell 
on my head. 

(Goose Loose approaches, stretching out neck.) 
Goose Loose 

S-s-s ! 

Duck Luck 
Oh, Goose Loose ! The world's 
come to an end ! 

Goose Loose 

How do you know, Duck Luck ? 

Duck Luck 

Hen Pen told me. 

Goose Loose 
How do you know, Hen Pen? 



54 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Hen Pen 
Chicken Licken told me. 

Goose Loose 

How do you know, Chicken 
Licken ? 

Chicken Licken 

I saw it with my eyes, I heard it 
with my ears, and a piece of it fell 
on my head ! 

(Gander Lander approaches, stretching out 

neck,) 

Gander Lander 

S-s-s ! 

Goose Loose 
Oh, Gander Lander ! the world's 
come to an end ! 

Gander Lander 

How do you know, Goose Loose? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 55 

Goose Loose 

Duck Luck told me. 

Gander Lander 

How do you know, Duck Luck? 

Duck Luck 
Hen Pen told me. 

Gander Lander 
How do you know, Hen Pen ? 

Hen Pen 

Chicken Licken told me. 

Gander Lander 
How do you know, Chicken 
Licken ? 

Chicken Licken 

I saw it with my eyes, I heard it 
with my ears, and a piece of it fell 
on my head. 



56 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

(Turkey Lurkey approaches.) 
Turkey Lurkey 

Gobble-gobble-gobble ! 

Gander Lander 
Oh, Turkey Lurkey ! The world's 
come to an end ! 

Turkey Lurkey 

How do you know, Gander 
Lander ? 

Gander Lander 

Goose Loose told me. 

Turkey Lurkey 

How do you know, Goose Loose ? 

Goose Loose 
Duck Luck told me. 

Turkey Lurkey 

How do you know, Duck Luck ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 57 

Duck Luck 

Hen Pen told me. 

Turkey Lurkey 

How do you know, Hen Pen ? 
Hen Pen 

Chicken Licken told me. 

Turkey Lurkey 

How do you know, Chicken 
Licken ? 

Chicken Licken 
I saw it with my eyes, I heard it 
with my ears, and a piece of it fell 
on my head. 

(Fox Lox approaches, stealing silently and 
crouching as if to spring upon his prey. 
All fly in great disorder, crying respectively : 
Peep-peep ! Cluck-cluck ! Quack-quack ! 
S-s-s! and Gobble-gobble!) 



FIDO'S DRINK 
(PANTOMIME) 

Scene. Mother is sewing; the cook is rolling 
pie crust; baby is playing with blocks on the 
floor. 

Fido runs up to the cook and cries shrilly, 
" Yap ! yap ! " Cook pays no attention. 

Fido runs to mother, whines, and takes a bit 
of her sleeve between his teeth, pulling it. 
Mother brushes him away. 

Fido jumps about baby, barking, whining, and 
pretending to lick his face. Baby takes up a 
block as if to strike him with it, then throws it 
down, and caresses him. The two roll over on 
the floor together in play. 

A sound is heard, and Fido jumps up, looks and 

58 




59 



60 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

listens. "Click ! ".goes the sound again, and 
Fido dances off to meet a little girl who ap- 
proaches. He dances about her on all fours, 
yapping and barking, then takes a bit of her 
skirt between his teeth and takes her over to 
the corner where the cook is still at work. 
Little girl suddenly shows by her manner that 
she understands him, and places a pan of 
water on the floor. Fido takes a drink. 

THE READING LESSON 

Fido 

Please Cook, give me a drink! 
I'm very thirsty. 

Cook 
Hm-m-m ! (Hums a tune.) 

Fido 

Please, Mistress, give me a drink ! 
It's a warm day, and I'm so thirsty ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 61 

Mistress 

Run , away, Fido, and don't tear 
my dress. I don't understand dog- 

talk - Fido 

Please, Baby, give me a drink ! I 
am so thirsty ! 

Baby 

Don't knock my blocks over, Fido. 
If you do, I'll hit you. No, I won't. 
We'll have a good play. 

Fido 

Oh, I'm so glad you've come, little 
Mistress ! Please give me a drink. 
I'm very thirsty, and no one under- 
stands me. 

Little Girl 

Why, Fido ! What can you want ? 
What are you pulling my dress for ? 



62 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 



Where are you taking me ? Oh, 1 
see ! You want a drink. Poor, 
thirsty little doggie ! You shall 
have all the water you want. 

— Adapted from the Culture Readers, by permis- 
sion of Charles E. Merrill Company. 




THE DAY'S EYE 

A DIALOGUE 

Daisy 

How did you come to name me 
after a flower. Mama ? 

Ma 
Because, dear, we were very glad 
you came to us. It seemed like the 
beginning of a new day. Do you 
know what daisy means ? 
Dai 

No. Mama. 

Ma 

I wonder if you could guess if I 
told von something about it. 



64 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Daisy 

Let me try, Mama. 

Mama 

Well, long ago, when the earth 
was young, as the fairy stories say, 
the daisies bloomed in the field just 
as they do now. 

Daisy 

Is this going to be a fairy story, 

Mama? 

Mama 

No. It is a truly true story. 
There were the daisy fields, then as 
now, and just as pretty. 

Daisy 

I can see the pretty blossoms, bob- 
bing about in the wind and sun. ; 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 65 

Mama 

Yes, dear, that is what they did, 
and the people loved them, but as 
yet they had not been named. 

Daisy 

Then I suppose the people just 
called them flowers. 

Mama 
I suppose so. But they began to 
feel the need of a particular name 
for the bright little flower with its 
yellow heart and white frill. 

Daisy 

I should think so ! When they said 
just "flowers/' nobody would know 
which flower they meant. 



66 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Mama 

Exactly so. Every kind of thing 
has to have a name to itself if we 
are to talk about it easily. Well, 
you know, people were early risers 
in those days. 

Daisy 

Was that the time when nearly 
every one lived in the country ? 

Mama 

Yes. And when the people went 
into the fields early in the morn- 
ing, the daisies looked like a lot of 
bright eyes that had just opened 
after being closed in sleep all 
night. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 67 

Daisy 

I can see them all winking, just so. 

(Shuts eyes very tightly and opens them very 
wide several times.) 

Mama 
Well, if the day had just awak- 
ened, what might you call the daisy ? 

Daisy 
(Jumping about and clapping her hands.) 

Oh, I know, Mama ! The day's 

eye. 

Mama 

That is what they named the dear 
little flower. And that is what we 
named you, dear. 




THE TELEPHONE 



Two paper tubes hanging in opposite corners 
of the room. Little girl holds one to ear and 
talks into imaginary mouthpiece. 

Jill 

Hello, Central ! 

Central 
(A mysterious voice from the back of the room. 
Child playing Central muffles her voice with 
her hand.) 

Hello ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 69 

Jill 
Give me 1, 2, 3, Tumble Down, D. 

Central 
(Muffles voice and runs her words together.) 

One - two - three - tumble - down - de. 
Click! (Bell rings.) 

Jack 
(Runs to place and seizes tube.) 

Hello ! 

Jill 

Hello ! Is that Jack ? 

Jack 
Yes. Who are you? 

Jill 
I'm Jill What are you doing ? 



70 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Jack 

Reading my new birthday book. 
It's jolly ! — all about Dick Dead- 
eye and the Whale Hunters. 

Jill 

% 

Whale hunters ? I thought the 

whale was a fish. 

Jack 

He isn't, though ! What do you 
want me for ? I'm in a hurry. 

Jill 

Won't your book wait until to- 
morrow ? 

Jack 

That whale's a swimmer ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 71 

Jill 
Well, Dick Deadeye will find you 
another one if he gets away. I want 
you to come over here. 

Jack 

What for ? 

Jill 

That's telling. 

Jack 
Oh, come, now ! 

Jill 

Do you want to know very much ? 

Jack 

I'd give a cooky to know. 

Jill 

I want to wish you a happy birth- 
day. 



72 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Jack 

Thanks, awfully ! But can't you 
say it over the phone ? 

Jill 
Not as it should be said. 

Jack 

I know what you want to do. 

Jill 
What ? . 

Jack 

Give me nine good slaps. 

Jill 
You won't grow if you don't get 

them - Jack 

Ha-ha-ha ! The murder's out. 

Jill 
Aren't you coming ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 73 

Jack 

I hear Dick Deadeye whistling for 

me. 

Jill 

Well, happy birthday anyway! 
And — listen ! — ml ml ml ml ml 

ml ml ml ml (Jerks out the excla- 
mations shortly.) Did you get them ? 

Jack 

Yes, and I'm growing so fast Til 
have a moustache by night. 

Jill 
All right ! Good-by ! 

Jack 

Last tag ! and good-by ! 

(Children dispose of tubes, and take seats.) 



ANIMAL TRADES 

George 

Let's play some sort of a guess- 
ing game. What shall it be? 

Annie 

We might each be some kind of 
an animal, and tell what we do for 
a living. 

Jack 

That's a good idea. I'm a mason 
and carpenter. I build a wall and 
plaster it with mud. I cut down 
trees and build my house mostly of 
wood. 

74 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 75 

Ida 

Oh, I know! You're a beaver. 

Jack 

That's right. Now it's your turn 
to be something. 

Ida 

I sew my house together. 

George 

Oh, what a house! But I know 
what you make it of. You take a 
leaf or two. You're a tailor bird. 

Ida 
(With a proud toss of the head.) 

I call myself an oriole. But it's 
your turn, George. 



76 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

George 
Oh, I know what I'll do for a 
living ! It's just as good as keeping 
a candy store. I'll make something 
sweet, sweet, sweet. I'll go from 
flower to flower, and gather - - 1 
won't say what, because that would 
be telling. 

Annie * 

I know! You're a bee. 

George 

Here me buzz ! Z-z-z-z-z ! 

Annie 

Then I guessed right, and it's my 
turn. Let me see ! What shall I 
be? I'm very tiny. I can carry a 
load bigger than myself. I think I 
shall call myself a miner, because I 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 77 

go down into the earth. But I 
don't go for coal or iron. I make 
my home there. 

George 

A mole ? 

Annie 
No, very much smaller than that. 

Ida 

A worm ? 

Annie 

No, smaller than that. 

Frank 

I know ! An ant. 

Annie 

The game's up, for Frank has 
guessed right, and we have all had 
a turn. 

— The Primary School. 



THE WORKERS 

Scene. Madam Weather sits in the teacher's 
high chair, or is otherwise raised to view. 
Two children flit irregularly about, moving 
their arms like wings. One leaps about like a 
frog or grasshopper. Three walk soberly from 
place to place, pretending to work. 

Madam Weather 

Tis summer. Who likes to play ? 

Butterfly 
(Pausing in her flight and moving her wings 
slowly, as if at rest on a leaf.) 

I like to play. I am a butterfly. 
I like to fan the warm, soft air 
with my velvet wings. I like to 

78 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 79 

sip the sweet honey from the hearts 
of all the flowers. 

Fly 
I like to play. I am a little fly. 
I like to flit hither and thither in 
the sunny air. I do nothing but 
buzz and eat. 

Grasshopper 
I like to play. I am a grasshop- 
per. I like to leap over the insects 
that crawl, and look down upon 
them as I pass. I am proud of my 
strong legs, and like to exercise 
them. I do nothing but skip about 
and eat. I can eat nearly every- 
thing that grows. 

(Asbutterfly, fly, and grasshopper finish speak' 
ing they resume their antics.) 



80 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Madam Weather 

Tis summer. Who likes to work? 

Bee 

I like to work. I am a bee. I 
like to gather honey from the clover 
blossoms. I like to work in the 
buckwheat. I carry home most of 
the honey for my winter food. 

(Resumes work.) 

Ant 
I like to work. I am a little ant. 
I have made me a home in the 
earth. Don't step on it, please! I 
am putting away my winter food 
there now. I work hard all day 
long. 

(Resumes work.) 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 81 

Beaver 

I like to work. I am a beaver. 
I can cut down a tree. I can build 
a dam across the stream. That 
makes a pond. In the pond. I build 
my house. Then I put away my 

winter food in it. 

(Resumes work.) 

Madam Weather 

Tis winter. Who wants to rest ? 

Fly, Butterfly, and Grasshopper 
(Group themselves before Madam Weather, lean- 
ing on one another, as if weary. Speak 
slowly and sleepily.) 

We want to rest. We have never 
done any work— yet we feel very 
tired. Perhaps we played too hard. 
We might as well have been work- 



82 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

ing, maybe ; but we never thought 
of winter. We should like to creep 
into some nice, warm place and 
have nothing to do but eat. But 
we have no homes and no winter 
food. 

(Sink slowly to floor and lie doubled up in 
various attitudes as if asleep.) 

Bee, Ant, and Beaver 
(Stand together erect and speak in firm, clear 
tones.) 

We shall be glad to rest. We 
have our homes and our winter 
food. Our work is done for the 
year. 

(Join hands, bow to Madam Weather, separate, 

and walk to seats.) 
- Adapted from the Culture Readers, by permis- 
sion of Charles E. Merrill Company. 



THE BEE'S STORY 

Little Girl 

Busy bee, busy bee, where is your 
home ? Bee 

In truth, little maiden, I live in a 
comb. Girl 

That is a funny place to live in. 
Tell me all about it. 

Bee 

Do you mean all about myself? 
If so, I'll begin at the beginning. 

Girl 

Yes, tell me all about yourself, 
please. 

83 



84 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Bee 

Well, in the beginning I was an 
egg, like the little bird. Only, I was 
a very tiny egg. 

Girl 

Yes, I suppose so. 

Bee 

When I came out of the shell, I 
was a very helpless little grub. The 
bees fed me with pollen. 

Girl '■ 
What is pollen ? 

Bee 
We get pollen from the flowers. 
It is a kind of dust. See — I have 
some on my back and legs now. 

Girl 

Oh, yes, —that yellow stuff. I sea 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 85 

Bee 

They fed me with pollen for five 
days. Then I fell asleep and the 
bees covered me with wax. 

Girl 
What a funny blanket ! 

Bee 
When I awoke, I was a little bee. 
I was very tiny. The bees had to 
take care of me. I was one of their 
babies. They had a great many 
babies. 

Girl 

You must have kept them busy ! 

Bee 
They fed us every day with bee- 
bread. We make the bee-bread of 



86 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

pollen. It is brown and bitter. You 
would not like it, but we did. They 
filled the hive with honey, so that 
we would always have something to 
eat. 

Girl 

Ah, that sounds better ! 

Bee 

Some day I will tell you what 
happened when I grew up. I cannot 
stop now. I have my day's work to 
finish. 

Girl 

Why must you work so hard? 

Bee 

There are baby bees at home to 
be fed, and we are laying up stores 
of honey for the winter. I must 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 87 

gather all the pollen and honey I 
can before night. We bees are very 
busy people. Didn't you ever hear 
the saying, "Busy as a bee"? So 
good-by, little girl ! Z-z-z-z-z ! 



UMBRELLAS 

Scene. Mother sewing in corner of room. 
Two little girls as small and as nearly alike 
as possible playing Peas Porridge Hot. In 
rushes big brother. 

Major 

It's raining cats and dogs and 
pitchforks ! Where's there an um- 
brella ? 

(Little girls run to window.) 
Mother 

My son, if it is raining pitchforks, 
you will be safer in the house. I 
would not trust to an umbrella. 



90 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Major 

Oh, well ! they're coming handles 
down — and I can dodge them. 
(Dodges, as if to escape a descending pitchfork.) 

Mother 
(Nodding toward children.) 

You see they believe you. They're 
looking for the cats and dogs. 

Major 
(Runs to children, puts an arm around each, 
and draws them away to a low seat, where 
he sits down and takes them on his knees. 
If Major is too near the size of the little 
sisters, they can kneel on the floor and rest 
their elbows on his knees.) 

There, you dear little geese ! Now 
keep still while I tell you what I saw 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 91 

to-day. Every living creature but 
myself had an umbrella. 

Lily 

Not the birds? 

Major 

Cock Robin sat under an oak leaf. 
Rose 

Not the cows? 

Major 

Madam Brindle stood under a tree. 

Both Sisters 

Not the bees ! 

Major 

Sir Bumble crept into a flower. 
Rose 

Not the wood mice ! 



92 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Major 

The wood mouse ran under a toad- 
stool. 

Lily 

Not the frogs ! 

Major 
They all jumped into the pond and 
swam out under the lily pads. 

Both Sisters 
(Laughing.) 

But they got wet, just the same. 

Major 
They blinked out at the rain from 
under their shelter as if they felt 
very comfortable. 

Rose 
Not the ducks ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 93 

Major 

Ah, there you have me. The 
ducks waddled out into the rain 
just as if they had never heard of 
umbrellas. And the dear little geese 
stayed at home and heard about it 
all. 

(Kisses them both, rises, takes an umbrella, and 
passes out of the door, kissing his hand to the 
children, who clap their hands and laugh.) 

— From the Culture Readers, by permission of 

Charles E. Merrill Company. 



A LITTLE MAN 

Louis 
(Books under arm.) 

Oh dear ! I wish I didn't have to 
go to school. Everything plays but 
little boys. Here's a swallow. 
(Whistles.) Swallow, swallow, come 
here and play with me. 

Swallow 
(A little girl who has been flitting from corner 
to corner of the room, waving her arms like 

wings.) 

Indeed, little boy, I have not one 
moment to play with you. I have 
so much work to do. 

94 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 95 

Boy 

Work ! A swallow work ? You're 
joking. 

Swallow 
No, indeed! I am at work this 
very minute, looking for mud and 
sticks and straws and feathers to 
build my nest with. Then there will 
be the family to take care of all 
summer. 

Boy 

Well, well ! Who would have 
thought of a happy little bird like 
you working ; but what you say is 
true. You do have to build your 
nests and feed your little ones, 
or else there would be no more 
swallows. 



96 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Swallow 

Good-by, little boy! 

(Flies to seat.) 
Boy 

Good-by, swallow ! Ah, here's a 
caterpillar. Guess I'll poke him up 
a little and see what he'll do. Will 
you play with me, caterpillar? 

Caterpillar 
(A boy has approached quietly on all fours and 
pretends to be eating the seat of a chair as if 
it were a leaf. Raises head and looks at Boy 
when gently poked with pencil.) 
Please don't hinder me in my work. 

Boy 
(Starts back in astonishment.) 

Oh, Mama! It can talk! Work, 
did you say? Why, you do nothing 
but eat. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 



&&-} 



97 




Caterpillar 
That is a caterpillar's work. I've 
got to eat many times my weight 
before the summer is over. 



98 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Boy 

And that's where all the pretty 
leaves go! Well, I'm glad Mr. 
Swallow works too! Can't you do 
with less food? 

Caterpillar 

I could, but I should not grow to 
very full size, and I should not 
have enough of the right kind of 
stuff in me to make my hammock 
bed and blankets for winter. 

Boy 
Oh, I know what you mean. You 
mean that bag you hang yourself 
up in while you are turning into a 
butterfly. 

Caterpillar 
(Proudly.) 

I mean my chrysalis, little boy. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 99 

Boy 
Yes, I know it has a fine name, 
and we boys have to spell it. I'd 
rather you'd call it a b-a-g, bag. 

Caterpillar 

You boys are too lazy for any 
use. 

Poodle 

Yap, yap, yap! 

Boy 

Ah, here's Joe Wilson's dog Dan- 
ger. He'll play with me. 

(Puts out hand to pet poodle, who dances away 

from him.) 

Poodle 

No, indeed ! I've no time to play. 

I've just saved the house, and I 

must run back and take care of it. 



100 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

But I'll let you pass, since I know 
who you are. 

Boy 
Of course you will. But how did 
you save the house? 

Poodle 

A bad man came into the garden, 

and I ran in and told Mrs. Wilson. 

He was coming right for the house 

when she went to the door. In 

another minute he would have been 

inside. 

Boy 

And what kept him out? 

Poodle 

Mrs. Wilson called "Danger, 
Danger ! " She had shut me in the 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 101 

kitchen so that I couldn't get at 
the man, but that was all the better. 

Boy 

{Laughing.) 

I should think so! But how did 
you save the house ? 

Poodle 
Why, when the man heard the 
name Mrs. Wilson called me, he 
thought there must be a big bull 
dog about, and he went away as 
quickly as he could. 

Boy 
Then it was your name, not you, 
that saved the house. 

Poodle 

But I told her, didn't I? And 
all night long I sleep with one ear 



102 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

open, listening for noises that I 
don't like. If a stranger should 
come, Td have the family awake 
very quickly. 

Boy 

Yes, I know. You're a useful 
little dog. But we boys have to 
learn to read and write. 

Poodle 

Yes, and you boys will be men. 
Think of that ! 

Boy 

That's true. It's a great thing to 
be a man. I shall live several 
times as long as the longest-lived 
dog, and shall learn to do a great 
many wonderful things. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 103 

Poodle 

Yes, indeed ! And if you're going 
to do the very best that a man can 
do in your long life, you haven't 
much time to waste in coaxing other 
people away from their work. 

Boy 

(Tossing up his cap.) 

Hurrah! I never thought of it 
before, but what a great thing it is 
to be a boy! That means that I'm 
going to be a man some day. I 
must get to work! Good-by, 
Danger ! 

Poodle 

Yap, yap! 



OFF FOR DREAMLAND 

MY BED IS A BOAT 

Read by voice at back of room. The verses 
below should be committed to memory. Class 
should be encouraged to dramatize other favorite 
poems. 

My bed is like a little boat ; 

Nurse helps me in when I embark ; 
She girds me in my sailor's coat 

And starts me in the dark. 
At night I go on board and say 

" Good-night " to all my friends on shore ; 
I shut my eyes and sail away 

\nd see and hear no more. 

104 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES. 105 

All night across the dark we steer ; 

But when the day returns at last, 
Safe in my room, beside the pier, 

I find my vessel fast. 

R. L. Stevenson. 

Nurse 
Come, Willy-boy ! It's time to go 
to bed. wiUy 

But I'm not going to bed, Nursey. 

Nurse 
Not going to bed? Where are 
you going? To Miss Lilly White's 

party ? (Pretends to undress the child.) 
Willy 

Not to-night. 

Nurse 
Where then ? To the Land of 
Counterpane ? 



106 NONSENSE DIALOGUES.. 

Willy 

Not to-night. 

Nurse 
May I go with you where you are 
going ? 

Willy 

No, Nursey. No one can go with 
me. But perhaps you will come to 
see pie there. 

Nurse 

That will be nice. And where is 
it to be ? 

Willy 

I am going out in my sailboat, 
all alone. 

Nurse 
Not in your nightgown, I hope ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 107 

Willy 

No, Nursey. In my mackintosh. 
You don't call things by their right 
names. 

Nurse 

And is this your mackintosh that 
I am putting over your head ? 

Willy 
Yes, Nursey. But it is black and 
stiff and shiny. You think it is 
white and soft. You don't see 
things in their right colors. 

Nurse 
And is this your sailboat ? 

Willy 
Yes, Nursey. But you think you 
are lifting me into it. You are not. 



108 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

You are pulling the boat up to the 
shore, and I am getting in myself. 

Nurse 

And how far will you sail? 

Willy 
Oh, far, far away ! Farther than 
you ever went in a railroad car. 

Nurse 

And what will you see ? 

Willy 

Oh, all sorts of things. Tops that 

talk and kites that take little boys 

riding, and giants that I shall kill, 

and fairies that will light the way for 

me. Nurse 

And shall you say " Good-by ! " be- 
fore you go ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 109 

Willy 
Not "Good-by," because I may 
meet you there. Besides I am com- 
ing back in the morning. 

Nurse 
Then you will surely say " Good- 
night ! " 

Willy 

Yes, Nursey. Kiss me good-night 
and sing me a song of the sea. 

Nurse 
(Singing.) 

Sweet and low, 

, Sweet and low, 

Wind of the western sea ! 
Low, low, 
Breathe and blow, 

Wind of the western sea ! 



110 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Over the rolling waters go, 
Come from the dying moon, and 
blow, 
Blow him again to me; 
While my little one, 
While my pretty one, sleeps. 

(Sleepily.) Will V 

I hear you, Nurse. My boat is 
sailing far from land. I am rocking 
on the waves of the deep, deep sea. 
Your voice sounds far away, but I 
can hear it still. Keep on singing 
till I am out of sight. 

{Singing.) Nurse 

Sleep and rest, 

Sleep and rest, 

Father will come to thee soon; 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 111 

Rest, rest, 
On mother's breast, 
Father will come to thee soon; 
Father will come to his babe in the 

nest, 
Silver sails all out of the west 
Under the silver moon: 
Sleep, my little one, 
Sleep, my pretty one, sleep ! 



AN ALPHABET GAME 

A leader may call the letters orally, or the 
teacher may summon them silently by writing 
them in order on the blackboard. 

A, being thus summoned, walks to the front 
and makes her announcement. As her enemies 
increase in numbers she retreats into a corner, 
they following until the overwhelmed pie is quite 
lost to sight behind the increasing group. 

(A speaks.) 

I am an apple pie. My name is A. 
I am B. I shall bite you. 
I am C. I shall cut you. 
I am D. I shall divide you into 
six pieces for my family. 

112 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 113 

I am E. I shall eat you. 

I am F. I shall fight for my share 
of you. 

I am G. I shall get you. 

I am H. I shall have you. 

I am I. I shall put icing on you. 

I am J. I shall jump for you. 

I am K. I shall keep you. 

I am L. I shall love you. 

I am M. I shall make a meal of 
you. 

I am N. I shall nibble your edges 
off. 

I am an ogre. My name is 0. I 

shall offer you to my hungry chil- 
dren. 

I am P. I shall put you into my 
mouth. 



114 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

I am Q. I shall quarter you and 
eat all four pieces. 

I am R. I shall run after 
you. 

I am S. I shall save you for my 
supper. 

I am T. I shall take you. 

I am U. I shall understand what 
to do with you. 

I am V. I vow I shall make you 
vanish down my throat. 

I am W. I want you. 

I am an ox. My name is X. I 
will excuse you. 

(The ox returns to his seat.) 

I am a Yankee. My name is Y. 
Fll have you yet, if I have to work a 
year for you. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 115 

I am a Zebra. My name is Z. I'll 
never buzz for you. 
(Zebra returns to seat,) 

SONG TO CLOSE 

(Tune, " Shouting the Battle Cry of Freedom." 
Letters turn, regroup themselves, facing seats, 
and sing :) 

Oh, how we all love apple pie, 

Excepting X and Z ! 
Shouting the battle cry of freedom. 
But our brothers now, must join us 

(Beckoning to X and Z, who come forward and 
join in the chorus.) 

For we're in the majority, 
Shouting the battle cry of freedom. 
Union forever ! 
Hurrah, boys, hurrah ! 



116 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

We, as you see us, 
Make all the books there are. 
So it's rally round the flag, boys, 
And live on apple pie, 
Shouting the battle cry of freedom. 

(Roll-call Leader calls off the letters in order in 
a sharp, authoritative tone, and each in turn 
answers " Here ! " and goes to seat.) 



THE HOURS 

This dialogue may be merely read, parts 
being assigned. The hours should stand in a 
line in front of the class. If acted, the children 
may study their parts and give them in their 
own words unless the piece is being prepared 
for some special occasion. The pauses to sepa- 
rate the hours need not be more than a few 
seconds each, just long enough for the silence to 
be felt. The "ng ,y in" ding ' ' should be prolonged 
in a ringing voice long enough to count one. 

One O'clock 

Ding-ng-ng ! 

Mouse 

(Stealing out from seat.) 

Is the cat about ? If she is, I hope 
that noisy clock hasn't waked her. 

117 



118 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

It shouldn't strike the hours when I 
want it to be very still, so that I may 
hear Pussy's soft steps. Oh, there 
she is ! 

(Another child comes stealing to the front. 
Mouse runs softly back to seat. Puss takes 
stand at point of disappearance. A pause.) 

Two O'clock 

Ding-ng, ding-ng-ng ! 
Cat 

Where did that mouse go ? I'm 
sure she went into this hole. I've 
been waiting here an hour for her. 
I think I'll go back to my cushion. 

(Retires. A pause.) 

Three O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng-ng! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 119 

Rooster 

Cock-a-doodle-do ! 
Wake up, Johnny, do ! 
Run and find your shoe ! 
Call your sister Sue ! 

(Rooster should crow from back of room and 
prolong the oo at the end of each cry. A 
pause.) 

Four O'clock 

Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng-ng. 

Housekeeper 
(In a sleepy voice, speaking from her seat.) 

Dear me ! I hear wheels. It must 

be the milkman, How glad I am I 

don't have to get up and attend to 

him. 

(A pause.) 



120 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Five O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng-ng! 

Baker 
(Coming out noisily and making a speaking 
tube of his hands.) 

Ba — a — ker ! Want any rolls this 

morning? 

Housekeeper 

(Sleepily.) 

I won't answer him. It's a new 
man, but he must have our name on 
his list. Let him look at that. 

(Baker examines a slip of paper, pretends to de- 
posit a loaf, and retires. A pause.) 

Six O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng-ng ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 121 

Housekeeper 

Well, I suppose Fll have to get up 
if breakfast is to be ready by half 
past seven. If that new baker didn't 
leave any bread, Fll have to make 
biscuit. 

(Remains in seat. A pause.) 

Seven O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng-ng ! 

Little Girl 
(Sleepily, speaking from seat.) 

Was that the clock striking seven ? 
Then Fve got to get up. I don't half 
like to, this cold morning. Zh-zh-zh ! 
(Shivering.) But I must be in time for 
breakfast. 

(Remains in her seat. A pause.) 



122 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Eight O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng-ng . Postman 

(Whistling through his fingers.) 

Let— ter ! 

(Housekeeper comes forward, takes letter silently, 
and examines address. Both retire. A 

V ause ^ Nine O'clock 

Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng-ng ! 

Class 
(Sings opening hymn. A pause.) 

Ten O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng-ng ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 123 

Teacher 

Let us have a few exercises, chil- 
dren. 

{Puts class through some short movement from 
the course in Physical Culture. A pause.) 

Eleven O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng-ng ! 

Monitor 
(Stepping forward.) 

Time for recess, children. Let's 
play Peas Porridge Hot. 

(Class in couples play the game. A pause.) 

Twelve O'clock 
Ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 
ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding- 



124 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, ding-ng, 
ding-ng-ng ! 

Monitor 
Dinner hour. Put on your wraps, 
children. 

(Children make a feint of putting on coats, hats, 
and mittens until teacher calls to order.) 




ELIZA CURTIS 



A CHRISTMAS JOKE 

Mamie 
(Hastening forward excitedly.) 

Merry Christmas, Susie ! I was 
just coming over to your house. 

125 



126 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Susie 
(Smiling quietly.) 

Merry Christmas ! And I was 
coming over to your house. 

Mamie 

I wanted to tell you all that was 
in my stocking this morning. 

Susie 
And I wanted to ask you what 
you found in it. 

Mamie 
And yours, too ? What was in it ? 

Susie 
All that I wanted was there. 

Mamie 
Oh, I had so many things. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 127 

Susie 
And I had only one thing. 

Mamie 
Did one thing fill a stocking ? It 
must have been a doll. I have a 
new doll, too, but it was on the 
Christmas tree. 

Susie 
So was mine. 

Mamie 
Oh, but my stocking was full right 

to the top ! 

Susie 

So was mine. 

Mamie 

I told Mama I wished I'd hung 
up both mine. I believe Santa Claus 
would have filled them both. 



128 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Susie 
Both mine were filled. 

Mamie 
And a Christmas tree too ! My ! 
But Santa Claus must have been 

kind to you. 

Susie 

But all he brought me was on the 
tree. 

Mamie 

I thought you said he filled both 
your stockings. 

Susie 

No ; I only said they were both 
filled. 

Mamie 

To the top ? 

Susie 

To the very top. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 129 

Mamie 

Who filled them ? 

Susie 
Somebody. 

Mamie 

Where did you hang them ? 

Susie 
I didn't hang them anywhere, 

Mamie 

Then how did you get them filled ? 

Susie 
I put them on. 



THE ECHO 

(A DIALOGUE) 



CHARACTERS 



Robert 

William 

Echo 



I 

Robert 
(Supposed to be in the woods.) 

Here, Rover ! 

Echo 
(Child secreted.) 

Here, Rover ! 

Robert 

Who's that ? 

Echo 

Who's that ? 

130 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 131 

Robert 
(Angrily.) 

Do you want to know who it is ? 

Echo 
Who it is ? 

Robert 

Come over here, and I'll tell you ! 

Echo 

I'll tell you ! 

Robert 

Where are you, any way ? 

Echo 
Any way ! 

Robert 

You're afraid to show yourself ! 

Echo 
Show yourself ! 



132 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Robert 
Look here, you chump ! Fll have 
you arrested. 

Echo 

Have you arrested. 

Robert 

Me arrested ! Why, this is my 
father's place. 

Echo 

My father's place. 
II 

William 

What's the matter, Robert ? Hav- 
ing a quarrel with your echo ? 

Echo 
Your echo ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 133 

Robert 

See there ! He says it's your echo. 
There's a bad boy over there ! 

Echo 

Over there ! 

Robert 

He said he'd have me arrested. 

Echo 

Arrested ! 

Robert 

Hear that ! He repeats every- 
thing I say. 

Echo 

I say. 

William 
Ha-ha ! Here's a boy that doesn't 
know any better than to call him- 
self names. 



134 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Echo 

Self names ! 

Robert 

I never did such a thing in my life. 
Echo 

In my life. 

William 
See there ! Echo says he didn't 
either. Echo 

Didn't either. 

Robert 

I don't see why you don't get angry 

with him. 

Echo 

With him ! 

Ill 

William 

Do you know what I'd look like if 
I did? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 135 

Echo 

If I did ? 

Robert 
(Wonder ingly.) 

No. 

Echo 

No. 

William 
I'll show you. (Takes out a pocket mir- 
ror and holds it before Robert.) Do you See 

that boy in there ? 

Echo 
In there ? 

Robert 

Yes. What of it ? 

Echo 

What of it ? 

William 

Shake your fist at him. 



136 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Echo 

At him ! 

Robert 
I won't do such a silly thing. 

Echo 

Silly thing. 

William 

Tell him he's a bad boy. 
Echo 

Bad boy. 

Robert 
I won't. 

Echo 
I won't. 

William 

Tell him you'll have him arrested. 

Echo 
Arrested. 

Robert 
(Laughing.) 

Do you think I'm going to talk to 
myself that way ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 137 

Echo 

That way ? 

William 

But that's just what you've been 
doing. 

Echo 

Been doing ! 

Robert 

How so ? 

Echo 

How so ? 

William 

When you look in the glass, you 
see yourself. When echo answers, 
you hear yourself. 

Echo 

Hear yourself. 

Robert 

Is that all ? 

Echo 

That all ? 



138 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

William 

Yes, that's all. Good-by ! 

(Passes on and disappears.) 
Echo 

Good-by ! 

IV 

Robert 
(After a moment's deep thought.) 
Echo, is that true ? 

Echo 

That true? 

Robert 

Are you only my voice come back 
to me? 

Echo 

Back to me? 

Robert 

Shall we be friends ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 139 

Echo 

Be friends ? 

Robert 
How do you do, Echo ? 

Echo 

Do, Echo ? 

Robert 

How are you to-day ? 
Echo 

You to-day ? 

Robert 

Are you very well ? 

Echo 
Very well ? 

Robert 
Hurrah ! 

Echo 
Hurrah. 

Robert 

What's the matter with Echo ? 
He's all right ! 



140 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Echo 

He's all right ! 

Robert 

I see how it is. 

Echo 

How it is. 

Robert 

The trees are a kind of looking 

£ laSS - Echo 

Looking glass. 

Robert 

The looking glass hangs on the 
wall. „ , 

Echo 

On the wall. 

Robert 

When I go to it, I see my face. 

Echo 
See my face. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 141 

Robert 

The trees stay right here. 

Echo 

Right here. 

Robert 
When I come to them, I hear my 
voice. 

Echo 

Hear my voice. 

Robert 

Echo, you're a nice fellow! 

Echo 

Nice fellow ! 

Robert 

I'll come and play with you again 
some day 2 Good-by ! 

Echo 

Good-by ! 



PAYING TOLL 

Tommy 

You can't come here. This is my 
pump. Molly 

It's your father's pump. 

Tommy 
That's the same as if it were 

mine - Molly 

But your father always lets me 
get water here. 

Tommy 

Well, I'm not going to unless you 

pay toll. 

Molly 

What's toll? 

142 



Tommy 
Toll is what you pay when you 
cross the bridge. 

Molly 

But I crossed the bridge without 
paying toll. 

Tommy 

That's because I wasn't there. 

Molly 

You're not in earnest. 

Tommy 
Why don't you get your water if 
I'm not? 

Molly 

You wouldn't be such a mean boy 
as that. 

Tommy 

I'm not a boy. I'm the toll-man. 



144 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Molly 

Oh, I see! You're playing. 

Tommy 

Pay your toll and you can have 
the water. 

Molly 

What do you want me to pay 

Tommy 

One pin. 

Molly 

But I haven't a pin. 

Tommy 
Then you can't have any water. 

Molly 

But Aunt Mary's come, and it's 
a hot day, and Mama wants to give 
her a cooling drink. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 145 

Tommy 
Then get the toll from your 

mother. 

Molly 

But I don't want to go all the 
way back for it. Will you lend me 
a pin? 

Tommy 

I haven't one to lend you. Boys 
don't keep pins about them. 

Molly 

I see one in your trousers band. 
You must have put it there when 
you were not thinking. 

Tommy 

Oh yes ! I forgot I had that one. 
But I won't lend it to you. 



146 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Molly 

Why not ? 

Tommy 

Because people never pay back 

pins. They say "Lend me a pin/' 

but they mean ' ' Give me one. " 

Molly 
I don't. I'll pay it back, truly. 

Tommy 

When ? To-morrow ? 

Molly 
To-day. Til come right back with 
it. 

Tommy 

Honest Injun ? 

Molly 
Honest Injun ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 147 

Tommy 

Cross your heart? 

Molly 
Cross my heart ! 

Tommy 
All right ! I'll lend it to you and 
you can pay toll with it. Here it is. 

Molly 
Thank you ! Here's the toll, Mr. 
Toll-man. 

Tommy 

Now you can take a pitcher of 
water. But don't forget your 
promise. 



SAVING DOLLY'S LIFE 

Doctor 
(Sitting down, laying hat and cane beside him on 
the floor, and putting on spectacles.) 

Good morning, madam ! Did you 
telephone for me ? 

Mother 
(Holding doll on lap.) 

Yes, indeed, I did, doctor ! Baby 
has been sick all night. I think it 
must be measles. 

Doctor 

Hm ! Ha ! Yes, I see. She seems 
to have a great deal of fever. Let 
me see her tongue. 

148 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 149 

Mother 
But, Doctor, she can't put her 
tongue out. She's too far gone,, 

Doctor 

As bad as that ? My dear lady, I 
don't want to frighten you, but your 
child has lockjaw. She may not live 
more than half an hour. 

Mother 
Oh, dear me ! Then what shall I 
do for a baby? Tabby won't do. 
Jip won't do. Wouldn't it save her 
life, Doctor, to give her a ride in 
your express cart ? 

Doctor 
My express cart, Madam ? 



150 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Mother 
Oh, I beg your pardon ! I mean 
your carriage. I forgot you were 
the doctor. There, there, baby ! 
Don't cry ! 

Doctor 

I think HI leave you now. 

Mother 

But, Doctor ! I think I see her 
smile. She may get well after all. 

Doctor 

Let me feel her pulse. (Takes dolly's 
hand.) Yes, she is growing stronger. 
She must have something to eat. 
What is this you have here ? 

Mother 

A piece of plum cake, Doctor. I 
fear that is too rich for the baby. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 151 

Doctor 

Let me see if it is. (Tries it.) 

Mother 

Oh, Doctor ! What a big bite ! 

Doctor 

Yes, but I shall have to taste it 
again to make quite sure. It 
wouldn't do to give a sick baby the 
wrong kind of food. 

Mother 

But, Doctor, you have eaten all 
my plum cake ! Now I have noth- 
ing to give the baby. 

Doctor 

Give her a cracker. That will do 
her more good. I had to eat the 



152 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

cake. It was the only way to save 
her life. 

Mother 

I hope you won't charge very much 
for eating it, Doctor ! 

Doctor 
Oh, no ; I won't send you a bill till 
my next visit. Good day, Madam ! 

Mother 

Good-by, Doctor. 

(Sees him to the door.) 
— From the Culture Readers, by permission of 
Charles E, Merrill Company. 



SPELLING CONSTANTINOPLE 

Teacher 

Let's play school. Who can spell 
Constantinople ? 

Five Pupils 
{All raising hands.) 

I can, Miss Books ! I can, Miss 
Books ! 

Teacher 

Very well. Let me hear you. All 
stand in line. {Arranges them.) Num- 
ber One, you begin it. 

First Pupil 

C-o-n, Con, with a Con. 

153 



154 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Teacher 

Very good. Next ! 

Second Pupil 

S-t-a-n, stan, with .a stan, with a 
Constan. 

Teacher 

That's right. Next ! 

Third Pupil 

T-i, ti, with a ti, with a Constanti. 

Teacher 

Better still. Next ! 

Fourth Pupil 

N-o, no, with a no, with a Con- 
stantino. 

Teacher 

You have learned your lesson well. 

Next ! 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 155 

Fifth Pupil 

P-l-e, pie, with a pie, with a Con- 
stantinople. 

Teacher 

There ! I always said I had the 
best class in the school. You may 
take recess. 

(Pupils march to seats singing, " We now can 
spell Constantinople . " ) 




LLIZ 



156 



THE NEW MAN 

Teddie 

There's a new man come to stay 
with us. 

Dora 

What relation is he to you ? 

Teddie 

No relation. 

Dora 

Then he must be an old friend. 

Teddie . 

We never saw him till yesterday. 

Dora 
Has he come to work for you ? 

157 



158 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Teddie 

Not a stroke. 

Dora 

Does he pay board ? 

Teddie 

Not a dollar. 

Dora 

Where does he sit at table ? 

Teddie 

He doesn't sit at table. 

Dora 

What does he like to eat ? 

Teddie 

He takes anything we choose to 

give him. 

Dora 

How does he take his food ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 159 

Teddie 

I put it into his mouth. 

Dora 

Is he sick ? 

Teddie 

Not at all. 

Dora 

Has he no hands ? 

Teddie 

He has two. I ma — 

(Claps hand over mouth.) 

Dora 
What room does he have ? 

Teddie 

No room at all. 

Dora 
I thought you said he had come 
to stay with you. 



160 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Teddie 

So I did. 

Dora 

How long will he stay with you ? 

Teddie 

All his life. 

Dora 

Is he very old ? 

Teddie 
No. He's quite young. He-he ! 
(Puts hand to mouth and titters.) 

Dora 
Where does he sleep ? 

Teddie 

On the lawn. 

Dora 

You don't mean to say you let 
him stay out of doors all night. 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 161 

Teddie 
It wouldn't be good for him to 
come into the house. 

Dora 
Why? 

Teddie 

He wouldn't live so long. 

Dora 
What does he do for a living ? 

Teddie 

Watches the front door. 

Dora 

Oh ! He's a watchman. Does he 
wear a uniform ? 

Teddie 

Yes. 



162 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Dora 

What color ? 

Teddie 

All white. 

Dora 

That's very foolish. What color 
is his hair ? 

Teddie 

He's quite bald. 

Dora 

Poor man ! In this cold weather, 
too ! What color are his eyes ? 

Teddie 

Black. I used pieces of co— 

(Claps hand to mouth.) 
Dora 

Oh, I know! It's a snow man. 



WHEN THE TOYS CAME ALIVE 

Ned 
{Standing alone in front of the class.) 

Now I'm ready to answer any ques- 
tions you people may want to ask me. 

Whipping Top 
(Comes forward and faces him.) 

You may whip me all you like. 
What am I ? md 

My Whipping Top. Next ! 
(Whipping Top retires. Drum comes forward.) 

Drum 

You may beat me, too. But I shall 
make a big noise if you do. What 
am I? 

163 



164 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Ned 
My Drum. Next 

{Each questioner in turn retires on being an- 
swered, and the next steps forward.) 

Boat 

The pond was made for you and 
me and the ducks. What am I ! 

Ned 
My Boat. Next. 

Kite 

I can climb without a ladder. 

What am I ? 

Ned 

My Kite. Next ! 

Spade 
You push me under, but hold me 
from falling. What am I ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 165 

Ned 
My Spade. Next! 

Knife 

I hurt you once, and you cried. 
You have taken better care of me 
ever since. What am I ? 

Ned 
I didn't cry much, Jackknife ! Do 
you want me to shut you up and put 
you in my pocket ? 

(Jackknife runs to seat) 

Dinner Plate 

You love me dearly. Yet every 
day you take all I have away from 
me. What am I ? 

Ned 

Never mind if you are full again 
next time, Dinner Plate ! 



166 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Work 

You don't love me as well as you 
ought to. Yet I am making a man 
of you. What am I ? 

Ned 
(Shaking hand of Work.) 

I know, and I thank you, Work ! 
But excuse me now. It's play time. 

Back of Neck 

I have belonged to you all your 
life ; yet other people can see me and 
you cannot. What am I ? 

Ned 
My heart ? 

Back of Neck 

No. Can other people see your 
heart ? 



NONSENSE DIALOGUES 167 

Ned 

Then I can't guess you. 
Back of Neck 

I am the Back of your Neck. 
Ned 
(Twisting about, trying to see the back of his 
neck.) 

Who says I can't see the Back of 

myNeCk? Back of Neck 

Can y0U ? Ned 

You're right about it. Is the 
game up ? _ . , , 7 7 

& * Back of Neck 

Here comes one more. 

Mother 

I am your dear aunt's only sister, 
and I've come to tell you playtime is 
over, and to put you to bed. 



168 NONSENSE DIALOGUES 

Ned 
Oh, I suppose you're my Mother. 
Well, IVe had fun enough for one 
day, anyway. 

{Throws arm around mother's neck and kisses 

her.) 

— The Primary School. 



'T^HE following pages contain advertisements of 
books by the same author or on kindred subjects. 



The Everychild's Series 

A new and unique series of supplementary readers for al! school grades. The 
books will cover as nearly as may be the entire field of suitable literature, classi- 
fied somewhat as follows: 

FOLKLORE AND FAIRY STORIES 

STORIES OF THE INDUSTRIES 

GEOGRAPHIC STORIES 

ORIGINAL STORIES RELATING TO CHILD LIFE 

STANDARD AND CLASSICAL LITERATURE 

The page is small, 3J inches by 5J inches, the type large and clear, making the 
books easy to read, thus meeting the demands of specialists in child's hygiene. 
The books will be handsomely illustrated, some in color. 

To be published the coming spring: 

Old Time Tales 

Folklore stories for third or fourth grade, by Kate F. Oswell, author of the 
American School Readers. 

Nature Stories for First or Second Grades 

By Mary Gardner. 

In Those Days 

A true story of child life a hundred years ago, for fifth or sixth grade, by 
Mrs. E. B. Hallock, beautifully illustrated in color. 

Stories of Great Operas 

By Millicent S. Bender; the stories of six great German operas, taken from 
original sources in old German. 

Nonsense Dialogues 

Popular folklore in dialogue, for first grade, by Mrs. E. E. K. Warner, author 
of Culture Readers, and other books. 

A Fairy Book for Second or Third Grade 

By Kate F. Oswell. 

Stories Grandmother Told 

Fairy and folklore stories for second or third grade, by Kate F. Oswell. 

Boy and Girl Heroes 

Stories of child life of famous characters, by Florence V. Farmer, author of 
" Nature Myths in Many Lands." 

Historical Plays 

Famous history stories put in dramatic form for reading, and also for acting by 
children of the higher, intermediate, or the grammar grades, by Grace E. Bird 
and Maud Starling. 

Other books are in preparation. 



THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

Publishers 64-66 Fifth Avenue New York 



EVERYDAY ENGLISH 

BOOK ONE 

By 

FRANKLIN T. BAKER 

Professor of English in Teachers College and Supervisor of English 
in the Horace Mann School 

AND 

ASHLEY H. THORNDIKE 

Professor of English in Columbia University 



This is the first book of 

A NEW AND ORIGINAL SERIES OF LANGUAGE BOOKS 

A HANDY, PRACTICAL, PERFECTLY 
GRADED, AND BEAUTIFULLY IL- 
LUSTRATED LANGUAGE BOOK FOR 
THE FIFTH AND SIXTH GRADES 



It treats language from a practical point of view rather 
than the technical. 

Oral speech is treated first in each lesson. 

In written speech letter writing is given fullest considera- 
tion. 

Common errors of expression, both written and oral, are 
treated psychologically. 

All formal instruction is based upon good literature. 

The illustrations, many of them in color, are suggestive 
and inspirational. 

Cloth, i2mo, xv + 240 pages, 40 cents net 



THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

Publishers 64-66 Fifth Avenue New York 



The Gilbert Arithmetics 

By C. H. GLEASON and C. B. GILBERT 

Book I, $.36 Book II, $.40 Book III, $.45 

These books are the latest product of recent careful studies on the 
subject of teaching mathematics to children. They are unique in that 
they recognize both the scientific claims of the subject and the psycho- 
logical claims of the student. 

The present-day demands for a better arithmetic are summed up in 
the following four classifications : — 

I — Systematic and sufficient drills on the fundamental 
combinations to fix them in the memory beyond 
the power of loss. 

II — Clear and definite knowledge of essential princi- 
ples, stated in simple language. 

III — A close relation between the arithmetic of the 

school and the problems of common life involv- 
ing number, especially the problems familiar to 
children and appealing to them. 

IV — The scientific or inductive method of approach to 

new subjects, in order that the knowledge may 
be real as distinguished from verbal. 

In the older arithmetics, the two first-named features predominated. 
These books were strong in drill and in formal statements. They were 
weak in vital interest and in psychological approach. Hence, the few 
who mastered them became exact and skilful ; but as the books lacked 
the essential qualities of interest and simplicity, the great majority of 
pupils wearied of the long, dry, and barren drills and failed to grasp 
the principles. 

The newer books appeal more generally to the interest of children, 
and pay more attention to the inducing of principles. But they tend 
too commonly to a disorderly arrangement, a disregard of necessary 
drill, and a lack of definitive statement. Hence possibly, the frequent 
complaint of a lack of " thoroughness " or accuracy. 

The Gilbert Arithmetics retain the virility and efficiency of the 
older arithmetics and offer as well the simplicity and attractiveness of 
the newer books. But they are different from both old and new in 
certain essential respects. 

THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

Publishers 64-66 Fifth Avenue New York 



The American School Readers 

By KATHERINE F. OSWELL and C. B. GILBERT 



A ne<rv basal series of school readers of unusually high literary quality 

Cloth, i2mo 



PRIMER $.30 

This book is unique in that it is from the first lesson to the last a real 
story of real children, illustrated by photographs. It has a carefully 
chosen, limited vocabulary averaging about three words to a lesson. 
In addition to the continued story it contains more children's literature 
than most primers. 

FIRST READER $.30 

The primer children continue for a short space with new experiences. 
The greater part of the book is carefully selected and graded childlore. 

SECOND READER $.35 

All high grade literature, prose and poetry, adapted to second grade 
children, beautifully illustrated. 

THIRD READER $.40 

Children's literature with a vocabulary increasingly difficult, and with 
longer stories. 

FOURTH READER $45 

A beautifully illustrated collection of high class literature, prose and 
poetry, chiefly in literary wholes. There are. no scraps. 

FIFTH READER $.50 

Six hundred pages of literary wholes carefully graded, with notes and 
questions for appreciative study. 

LITERARY READER $.00 

An annotated and carefully edited collection of masterpieces suitable 
for study in higher grades and in rural schools. 



THE MACMILLAN COMPANY 

Publishers 64-66 Fifth Avenue New York 



